Are you Addicted to the Internet?

Howzit

I don’t know about you but it has become patently obvious to me that I am addicted to my inbox. I reckon that I click on send/receive at least 30 times per day. It is a powerful and absorbing thing, this internet and its related technologies. I was planning to book into a rehab centre till I learned that a Chinese lightie of 15 was recently BEATEN TO DEATH whilst attending an internet addicts boot camp. The Skynews article also notes that China has the world’s largest internet population, with almost 300 million users, and that they have more than 200 organisations offering treatment for web addiction. Only last month, the nation banned electro-shock therapy as a treatment for the problem. How’s that for harsh my China?

Anyway, back to Boerewors Country. Almost everyone I know spends large chunks of their valuable time staring hypnotically into their computer monitor. Or Blackberry, or i Phone, or Omnia or Palm or PDA. Or Playstation, PSP, X Box or Wii. Or the blerrie TV. We cannot escape being sucked into the information vortex. But what are we seeing in front of us, what information is really being delivered here? To be honest it’s mostly irrelevant twak, which does very little to enhance our already stressed lives.

Let’s check out the most common items up for grabs on the techno-buffet:

Email:

I am a very lucky dude. Every day I win millions of Euros in the lotto and can easily buy Fake Rolexes, Top Quality University Degrees, Wonderful Weight Loss Products, Sensual Massages, Penis Enlargers, Viagra and of course Niagra (the female version of Viagra.) Based upon the number of mails I have received in the past 12 months, at least 263 897 people believe my male member is undersized. And this is just in my Junk Mail Folder!

In my inbox, I have 6 507 896 365.33 newsletters, invoices, unread mails, awaiting action tasks, jokes and worst of all, soppy inspirational pieces. In fact, if I see one more “pass this on to your 10 worst enemies and you will be eternally doomed”  email involving flowery words accompanied by lame ducks, cute kids, amiable animals, planets, forests, lakes, mountains or flowers, I am going to throw up all over my keyboard. Sies man.

Internet:

I really love Google. They have allowed me to access the world’s largest library with fast, intelligent searching. Internet Banking allows me to manipulate my meagre money matters to my heart’s content. Have you realised that your money has become an illusion floating in cyberspace? Because you never actually get to see very much of it for real.

For buying and selling almost anything gumtree is a truly awesome site. And online airticket and movie bookings have become a breeze. I also enjoy Youtube come to think of it. And have you heard the SA version of Lady Ga Ga’s Pokerface? It’s called Pap en Vleis and it’s really funny.

Of course the energy I spend on all of these sites leaves me no time to waste on the millions of social networking tools like Blogs, Twitter, Linked In, Plaxo and Facebook (OK – I’ll admit I stumble reluctantly into FB about once per month) I also never get to visit the News Channels and Chat Forums and Flash Games and Celebrity Slobberers and Sleazy Porn Sites. Blind ek se!  But hey, here is a Real Newsflash – I just learned that you can now watch the daily news delivered to you by naked people! Yes, if you are over 18, not too prudish and keen for a different angle on the news dangle, click here.

Playstation:

My 9 year old son is already able to kill 2 374 of the enemy per hour. He has thumbs like vice grips. Yet recently, I watched in awe as my wife quickly covered his eyes when a pair of naked female breasts flashed across on our TV screen. I tried to reason with her that our son was far more likely to see real live boobs one day than actually kill somebody, so why not let him have a good look in preparation? Give him a head start so to speak. She told me to shut up and so we agreed to disagree on this touchy issue.

T.V.

I mostly watch rugby, my wife watches movies and my kids watch cartoon network. I tried to watch Ed, Ed and Eddie once but almost had an epileptic fit. None of us watches the news ever, it’s just too damn depressing. Soap Operas are also banned in our household – who wants to stare vacuously whilst drooling at “Days of other people’s lives?” DSTV continues to dish us up miles and miles of nothingness. Why don’t they let us choose our 10 or fifteen favourite shows – allow us to design a custom bouquet which we will really enjoy, for a reduced fee? Catch a wake up you Monopolistic Monolith!

Cellphones:

I smaak the Apple i-Phone stukkend –you can do absolutely anything with it. (Except make a simple phone call.) The Blackberry is now known as the crackberry because it is so addictive. I hate meetings involving people with Blackberrys cause they don’t pay me much attention – their shifty eyes and surreptitious toggly fingers are very distracting. Meanwhile my new Nokia takes photo’s and synchronises my contacts and diary through blueteeth with my laptop which is wirelessly connected to my WAN which uses an ADSL pipe to connect to the world wide wiki. Kan jy dit glo my Bru!!!

Relaxation: 

Ja well no fine. So what do we do to relax, find balance and switch off from all this attractive and addictive technology? Here are some ideas:

1. I have been told to read 2 great books and I intend to do so just as soon as I can find the time. They are: the 4 Hour Workweek and Take back your LIFE.
2. Download a simple, powerful relaxation exercise from my website by clicking here. It’s free!
3. Resolve to only click send and receive only twice per day. Or automatically at 2 hour intervals (Easier said than done).
4. Set appointments with yourself for exercise, relaxation, vacation and family time etc. I colour code mine green in Outlook, so I can visually see if my life is balanced.
5. Read a non-fiction book which uplifts you. Click here for my recommended reading booklist.
6. Plan a weekend away or holiday – do it NOW (use the internet)
7. Invest / spend / live some quality time with your kids.
8. Tell a loved one how much they mean to you.
9. Listen to uplifting music.
10. Attend my one hour Presentation, Winning Ways to Work Smarter, or my one day Workshop on Time Management. 

Also, if you have a moment to mail me, I would love to hear about how you deal with all these technology issues and what actions you are taking to balance your life.

Have to go now – my inbox is calling me. “I’m coming honey……”

Till next time

Braai Braai

Mark

Struggling to meet Sales Targets?

Exceptional Times call for Exceptional Ideas.

In many industries right now, making sales is very tough, in some cases almost impossible. Salespeople are frustrated and demotivated, sandwiched between the pressure of meeting targets and their customers’ reluctance to buy. Traditional sales techniques are not getting the required results.

We need to explore a new approach to selling, which utilises more of the current technology and psychology. This does not mean that the basics of selling have changed or should be discarded. It means that the psychology of buying needs to be taken into account.

Let’s briefly analyse traditional sales techniques:

Traditional sales techniques worked like this:

1. Set ambitious sales targets. It’s all about the numbers.

2. Prospect for customers, using cold calling techniques or an existing database etc.

3. Make appointments, be on time and dress the part.

4. Ask some clever opening questions, to establish rapport.

5. Present your offering to the customer. Be sure to know your product or service really well, including its FAB’s and USP’s. Be confident.

6. Be ready to handle their objections, have the right answers ready when required.

7. Try to close the deal, or agree to submit a proposal. Leave your corporate brochure and business card with prospect.

8. Follow up – try to close again. Be sure to know at least 5 foolproof closing techniques.

9. Be persistent – some deals take time to conclude.

10. Keep filling your sales pipeline by following the steps above.

By using the above approach you often end up with tons of unconfirmed proposals and very little cash flow! In the new world order, we need to adopt a far more creative, strategic approach to selling. I call it “High Touch – Low Pressure Selling”. Below is a brief summary of how it works:

High Touch – Low Pressure Selling:

1. Formulate a proper Sales Strategy. Segment your market correctly. Analyse your competitor’s activities. Decide what you really want – growth, survival, more market share or stronger relationships. Be realistic – don’t think you can achieve all of these at once. Understand your customer’s current reality – not just regarding your product – regarding their entire business or business division. Design a compelling offering, taking all relevant factors into account. Don’t just cut price – find ways to add real value. Exceptional Times call for Exceptional Ideas!

2. Research your prospects effectively. Visit their website, google their name, befriend their PA or colleagues, build up a clear picture of them before you make contact. Prepare a CRM contact sheet with the important info and attach your printed research.

3. Make the appointment. Don’t try to sell at this stage. Confirm the appointment by email and include an agenda for the meeting. Make the meeting time frame no longer than 20 minutes.

4. At the appointment ask some pre-formulated, intelligent “Power Questions” to gain an understanding of your prospect, their interests, their business and their current challenges. Pay careful attention to their answers and then ask deeper, more probing questions. Use the opportunity to gauge their behavioural style (Analytical, Amiable, Expressive or Driver). Adjust your communication immediately to suit their style. Try to avoid talking about your offering at this stage – rather be completely interested in their reality. Picture yourself as their partner or advisor; keep trying to understand their headspace. Give short verbal and body language responses to show you are listening actively. Make notes of the key points.

5. Wait for the opportune moment to speak about your offering. Again, try to do this using questions rather than statements. Gauge how much the customer knows already and just fill in the gaps. Don’t talk too much – watch their body language to see if you are losing them. Your offer must be compelling, as decided during your sales strategy session. This will give you natural confidence.

6. Be prepared for objections and draw them out in their entirety. Ask a reflective question or rephrase the objection to show that you empathise with the prospect. Commit to finding a mutually beneficial solution. Remember you are positioning yourself as a trusted consultant / advisor – not a high pressure salesperson.

7. In some cases, if the customer has a need and some budget, the close will now happen automatically. They will close themselves. If not, try one of the “Power Closes”. Be sure it is appropriate to the client’s behavioural style. If they request a written proposal, first make sure that they qualify for the time it takes you to prepare and send it.

When I sell, I prefer to quickly talk through how the proposal will be structured, with the key points, to ensure that they know what to expect. I also try to find out who will be involved in the decision making process – gatekeepers, influencers and decision takers. I also often talk about price at this stage, even if it is a ballpark figure. If they fall off their chair, we go back to step no.6.

Only send a proposal if you feel that there is at least a 75% chance of closing the deal. Remember – you are not in the business of sending proposals. You are in the business of Closing Deals. Make sure you leave with your prospect’s business card. Ask if they would like your card and/or brochure. Don’t waste paper by leaving your documentation if it looks like they will toss it the moment you leave. Find out how soon they require the proposal – then send it ASAP. Agree with the prospect exactly how and when you will be following up – set an appointment for the follow-up meeting if possible. This will be the closing appointment.

8. Send the proposal – make sure it is short, has quality graphics and looks professional. Also ensure that the numbers are easy to understand. In your covering mail, ask them to confirm that they have received the proposal. Enter the customer’s info into your CRM database. Within 2 days, you begin to send them High Touch – Low Pressure emails. The content of this high touch communication is determined by WHAT YOU UNCOVERED during your meeting with the client. These mails have nothing to do with your company, its products or achievements. They have to do with items of interest to the client. These communications can include; links to interesting websites, newsletters, valuable business information, statistics, information about their industry, ways to work smarter etc. This ensures that you deepen the relationship, stay top of mind and set yourself apart from the opposition.

9. Be persistent but patient – find the balance between pushing too hard and being afraid to close. Trust the high touch process – It works!

10. Keep refining the steps above and tweak the system to suit your selling style. Hold the attitude that you are here to build relationships, to sell, to add real value, to make a difference and to have some fun in the process. Keep investing in yourself – read books on selling, subscribe to magazines, grow your general industry knowledge, join a network, attend sales training courses (mine are really good!). Remember – Selling is a Profession. Professionals regularly upskill themselves – so should you!

Some are comparing the current economic crisis to the great downturn of 1929. Yet historically, in similar economic downturns, fortunes have been made, bargains have been bought, history has been shaped! Shaped by those who had the courage and the foresight to spot the opportunities – those who thought out of the box and became creative rather than reactive. Those who accepted that cycles are a part of all life, and went with the flow. Those who implemented exceptional ideas and actions!

Yours in Training

Mark Berger

South Africa – Seeing is Believing or Believing is Seeing?

Eish

It’s not easy being an optimist in these challenging times.  The forces of sadness and negativity are finding more and more evidence to justify their unhappy existence. The psychic vampires are conspiring to drain my positive energy.  

Also, I am beginning to think we South Africans suffer from a form of collective national erectile dysfunction. Or at least a massive countrywide inferiority complex, with a smidgen of schizophrenia thrown in. It seems to me that many other countries believe in South Africa more than we believe in ourselves!

The Indian Premier League is a prime example. The people of India (who completely idolise their cricket players) were concerned about the IPL players’ safety due to possible unrest during their elections. So they sent them all to SA, in the midst of our elections, to play the IPL tournament here. They believed that their players would be safer here than back home in India. In addition, we were given only a few weeks to prepare for this massive event and, in true SA schtyle, we pulled it off magnificently!

We also seem to believe that we have the monopoly on dodgy politicians. Right now our old imperialist coloniser Grate Britain (yes spelled grate – because of their constant whingeing and complaining) are catching a major wake-up call. Many of their politicians are deeply embroiled in the current expenses scandal. Their justice Minister Shahid Malik recently resigned after being caught red handed. We had travelgate – they now have mastergate.

Many other countries regularly report highly questionable behaviour by their politicians. For example, click here to view a report on the top 5 most corrupt USA politicians of 2008. It may surprise you to learn that as a country, we only rank 46^th in terms of corruption. Which means we are less corrupt than Greece, Brazil, Mexico, Thailand, China, Egypt and India to name but a few.  This statistic by no means justifies or minimises the actions of our businessmen or politicians who succumb to the massive temptations of position and power. It merely puts their behaviour into context.

As John Mayer sings: “We keep waiting, waiting for the world to change”  So we keep waiting for the policemen, politicians, councillors, trade unionists and others to effect the change we need in order for us to finally believe. We spread sad stories of inefficiency, corruption, poor leadership and incompetent civil servants. What is the point? It merely serves to perpetuate our lack of self belief. How long are we going to keep waiting for things to change? When are we, to quote Gandhi, going to become the change we want to see in our country?

There is an ongoing debate on whether seeing is believing, or believing is seeing. The USA is a prime example of the latter. They are technically a bankrupt nation, with a national deficit running into trillions of dollars. About half of their population is overweight and 30% of them obese. Nationmaster reported in a survey on crimes per capita that the USA has more crimes per capita than SA. (Unflippingbelievable!) All they seem to have going for them now are a likeable presidential couple, a thriving democracy and tons of self belief.

Having lived in the USA for 12 months, I was amazed to see their collective level of self belief and patriotism. They harness this collective energy and somehow manage to have the strongest economy on the planet, with less than a third of the population of India and a quarter of that of China! Why? Because they fly their flag and sing their anthem and speak one language and believe in themselves and support one another and work together to keep their dream alive! For them, believing is seeing.  We really should learn from this.

As a motivational speaker, my strategy is to open my eyes, my mind and my heart and look out for what is going right. Then focus my attention on it, to keep my spirits high. Which is different to getting high on spirits!

So what do I see in SA, in order to help me believe?

• I see massive roadworks, currently causing some major traffic problems. I believe however, that within 12 months they should be finished and we will have a vastly improved transportation infrastructure.
• I see many people struggling financially in these awful economic times. Yet I also believe that we are not as badly affected as many other countries, partly due to the National Credit Act and Exchange Controls which we moaned about for so long.
• I see layoffs and retrenchments and short time. Yet I also see many people restructuring their busy lives, reprioritising what is really important and starting to create more balance between their work, health and family life. 
• I see compassion and caring starting to replace greed and consumerism.
• I see reports of many South African expatriates coming home, which I believe could alleviate the acute specialised skills shortage in some of our sectors.
• I see doctors going on strike, demanding higher remuneration. I support them completely – doctors need to be paid well or they will simply seek work in other countries. Once again, other countries welcome our doctors with open arms, believing in them more than we do. We simply cannot afford to let them go. (By the way, have you ever wondered why doctors study for at least 7 years and then spend the rest of their life practising?)
• I see my white children, schooling and playing and laughing with black and brown and even Asian kids. I believe this is our hope for the future. (I also had China’s in school, but they were from Jo’burg!)
• I see cranes and stadiums and construction and housing projects for the poor and packed convention centres and busy shopping malls and an economy which continues to function, albeit in slow motion.
• I see a photo of Africa, taken from outer space, showing visible evidence of why we are Africa’s largest economy. Africa believes in us – the bulk of the 9.5 million tourists we welcomed to SA last year were visitors from Africa.  
• I see a new minister of finance who has a truly remarkable track record, having vastly improved the efficiency and revenue collection of SARS. I believe he is a worthy successor to Clever Trevor.
• I see SA companies like MTN and Shoprite expanding into Africa, making a difference and making a profit. Isn’t that what business is all about?
• I see so much more, but don’t want to become a bore.

What do you see? What do you believe? If we open our eyes, our hearts and our minds, how much more can we achieve?

Henry Ford said: If you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are right.

I THINK WE CAN!

Awesome Photo – Africa From Outer Space

This awesome picture of Africa was taken by astronaut Sunita Williams. Besides the breathtaking beauty of the picture, it provides visible evidence as to why SA is the strongest economy in Africa. Look north towards countries like Egypt and Nigeria, with populations much larger than ours, and note how relatively little light is generated there. Perhaps Eskom is not that terrible after all?

It also shows just how developed Europe is by comparison, with little room for growth or expansion. Finally it shows me just how much potential and opportunity exists just north of our beautiful country.

What does it show you ?

A Poem for Jacob Zuma

 

O JZ dear JZ

Our new leader you are

From humble beginnings

You’ve really come far.

 

And now is your time

To shine and be strong

And make a real difference

And prove them all wrong.

 

We hope you will show us

The man that you are

With the mind of a politician

And the voice of a rock star.

 

The ladies will swoon

And many will say

That you use much less botox

Than Zille of the DA.

 

You’ve shrugged off the charges

You’ve given us hope

You even have managed

To fight off the COPE.

 

We hope you are firm

We hope you are fair

We hope you will never

Put colour in your hair.

 

We hope you can calm us

When voices are shrill

We hope you get along with

Patricia de Lille.

 

As well as the opposition

Who will question you so

And challenge your decisions

To ensure that we grow.

 

For we really do need you

And you really need us

But who really needs

The Freedom Front Plus?

 

Our politicians are many

Their ideas are too

But it’s not what they say

It’s about what they DO!

 

We want you to solve

The serious dilemma

Of that very strange man

Called Julius Malema.

 

And also the Taxis

Who break all the rules

And endanger our lives

And drive like real fools.

 

We need lots of jobs

And houses and things

And maybe in our parks

For the kids, some swings?

 

We need much less crime

And violence and fear

And much less of those who

Make corruption their career.

 

We want service delivery

And efficiency and speed

And competent people

We do urgently need.

 

To run the departments

Which impact the lives

Of our sons and our daughters

And our parents and wives.

 

And Africa she needs us

To show her the way

Out of gradual decline

And rapid decay.

 

But don’t try to fix Africa

By neglecting the South

As was tried by Mbeki

With his pipe in his mouth.

 

Our economy is strong

And it can still get stronger

If the minister of finance

Could just stay a bit longer?

 

Cause we want this to work

And we need you to win

And make better lives for those

Who voted you in.

 

Without grabbing the farmland

Without calling for war

Without making the mistakes

Of Mad Bob next door.

 

We’re a Banana Republic

I’m hearing some say

But I think we are more like

A Choc Nut sundae.

 

With some white and some brown

And some nuts in between

And a warm, rich black topping

With a dollop of cream.

 

So we hope you’re a fighter

Who will fight the good fight

For the blacks and the coloureds

And indians and whites

 

We hope you will lead us

With vision and grace

So we can become

A much better place.

 

Yes you are our leader

And we wish you the best

As the next few years

Put you to the test.

 

So we send you best wishes

And hope you do well

And as they say in the classics

ONLY TIME WILL TELL!

 

Good Luck Msholozi!

~

This is WHY 2009 is going be KWAAI.

Howzit

Eish my Boet – the New Year has barely begun and already the prophets of doom are spreading the negativity lekker dik, like Bovril on a braaibrood. They klap us with deeply disturbing chirps like the global economic meltdown, soaring unemployment, vehicle repossessions, declining property values, stock market collapses, recession, depression, deflation, stagnation & fornication et al. It’s enough to make you naar my bru!  

In spite of all this, I find myself feeling positive, upbeat and even (cautiously) optimistic right now. In May 2008 I was gatvol and ready to leave SA. Yet today, January 2009, I am feeling much more at peace and actually looking forward to the year ahead. This is despite having had my office broken into last November and being relieved of my laptop, briefcase, 3 cell phones & various digital cameras!

“Hau” you exclaim, “how is this possible? Has the motivational speaker finally lost his last few remaining marbles?”   

Maybe – maybe not. Let me explain. I’m not blind my boet. I know that in many ways, things are pretty KAK for a whole lot of people. F’rinstance you don’t want to be an American Auto Worker right now, or a Brit in Financial Services, or an Aussie Test Cricket Supporter. Talk about zero options and no light out there Boet. It must be terrifying to be retrenched, unemployed and anxious with no income and virtually no prospects for any improvement. And the reality is that some “things” may still get worse my Bru. This cyclical correction has been a long time coming and it won’t just fix itself overnight.  

But as you know boet, my nature has always been to consciously focus on the positive “things”, to actively seek out the good stuff going down and then focus my attention on that. And then to go out there and make good things happen, for myself and others.

If you open your eyes (and mind) and really look, there is a lot to be positive about. In fact, quite a few things are looking much better than they were just a few months ago, when the situation really stank. For example:

1.     I filled my car last night, cost me R 330. A few months ago it cost over R 500.

2.     Festive Season road deaths are down a massive 40%. That’s right, forty percent. Unflippingbelievable! And finally, finally they are fixing the Koeberg interchange, Cape Town’s most congested piece of tarmac.

3.     We holidayed in Durban over December. Besides awesome Ushakaland, Glamorous Gateway, Wacky Wavehouse and Radical RJ’s Ribs, the beaches were full of smartly outfitted garbage collectors, friendly tourist guides, hyperactive life guards and sweaty pink pommie tourists. The whole jol ran like clockwork. I was beindruk ek se! Go Durbs!

4.     We klapped the Aussies in the Cricket Test Series! In Aussie nogal. Nobody froze or choked. I’m stoked. And Graham Smith went from zero to Hero.

5.     Bafana Bafana actually scored a couple of goals in some of their last few matches. Go ouens!

6.     COPE gives me HOPE. Too much power is dangerous and our fledgling democracy can only benefit from more opposition for better balance.

7.     Cape Town Mayor Helen Zille was voted the world’s best, and she is one smart, honest, Teflon Tannie. (Nothing sticks to her.) And what an example she is to all politicians.

8.     We have a new minister of health, who seems sort of switched on. And Trevor is still pulling the purse strings (Thank goodness!)

9.     Right now, our SA banks are said to be “safer” than the Swiss, German, British and American banks. And this is partly because of the National credit Act, which gave us so many headaches last year.

10. We have had some good rainfall and THEY SAY that this should lead to lower FOOD PRICES? (Front page of the Sunday Crimes a few weeks ago) I’ll believe it when I see it, but at least some of the headlines are becoming more positive!

11. Like it or not, 2010 is coming. And my feeling is we will pull it off, in typical SA style. There will probably be some hiccups and maybe even some big stuffups but overall it is going to be a moerse jol. Buy your tickets soon; they apparently start at only R 120 a pop. (But that probably buys you a seat in the toilet for the game between Outer Mongolia and Biafra)

12. Barack Obama – what more can I say. A bruin ou who can GO!

“Yes Mark,” I hear you saying, “this may all be true, BUT what about the terrifying realities of Crime, Corruption, Falling standards of Education, Global Warming, The Financial Crunch, Zimbabwe, Gaza and Minibus Taxis?”

My suggestion is this boet:

GET OFF YOUR BUT’S. Move on. Let it go. Get a life. Or make a big sign and go picket against whatever is pissing you off. Just don’t waste your precious energy agonising over stuff you can do nothing about. And if you can do something, then do it. Get involved. Play the game. Stop sniping from the sidelines. It serves no purpose, other than to increase your blood pressure, stress levels and the sales of alcohol and antidepressants. Read my lips as I say it again my boet: GET OFF YOUR BUT’S. Erase the word BUT from your daily dialogue and watch how your outlook on life will change. Dramatically.

Then, if you are feeling adventurous, the next step is to consider occupying your tortured mind with something alternative, creative and uplifting, such as:

1. Reading the book “A New Earth” by Eckart Tolle. Or if you prefer you could do like I did, buy the 8 CD set and listen to the book whilst driving your car. The traffic becomes so much more bearable my bru. Even the Taxi’s seem less evil. That Eckart oke is one smart dude. Just ask Oprah.
2.  If you have not yet read “The best of 2008 newsletter” then click this link to read a wonderfully written summary of the positive aspects of last year from a SA perspective. It is extremely well written and very uplifting.
3. If you have broadband, and an even broader mind, Google “Zeitgeist – The Movie” and watch it. Especially part 3, where you will see an interesting take on the reason for the current global economic meltdown. If you don’t have broadband, visit someone who does boet. Make a plan. To view the movie, click here.
4. Help someone less fortunate than you. Give away a little money, or some of your time, or even some of the old useless shit cluttering your home and life right no. Get verlig my bru – it feels kwaai!
5. Eat a little less red meat – cow farts screw up the atmosphere and you will feel lighter and may have less chance of getting colon cancer later. If you need more motivation, read the bestselling book “Fast Food Nation” by investigative journalist Eric Schlosser. It’s scary but true.
6. Adopt a stray pet. It will love you unconditionally, something we should all learn to do.
7. Read the book “Fifty facts that should change the World.” by Jessica Williams. But be warned – it’s quite mind blowing. Truth can be stranger than fiction.
8. If you are white, consider visiting a non white township and go see for yourself how the majority of our country lives. It is truly an awesome, eye opening and uplifting experience. Check out the Sangomas, Shebeens and Street Life. Seriously now. Most of our township residents visit the white areas regularly. So why should we not reciprocate and visit them – at least once? Who knows, you may even find my laptop there.
9. Go to Google images, type in “Solar System” and check out the actual size of our sun relative to the earth. It really puts things into perspective. Or even easier, just click this link.
10. Also at Google images, type in Hubble Telescope and look at some pictures of the 100 billion or so other galaxies out there, beyond our Milky Way / solar system. Try to see your / the world’s problems in the bigger context of the huge universe. Or click this link for an amazing slideshow of the Hubble pictures.
11. Find someone to hug. Your partner, kids, family, friends, colleagues, neighbours, dogs, cats or rats. Hug them often my bru, tightly and appreciatively. It is the greatest gift that you can ever give and receive.
12. Start each day by thinking about or writing down all the things that you are grateful for. Then try to accept life’s curved balls without judgement. Gratitude and acceptance are hugely powerful transformational tools.
13. Get out of your rut. Adopt a practise to help you find more peace of mind. Actively investigate ways to connect to the still space within you. Find ways to change your inner world, and you will notice how the outer world immediately changes for the better.

In conclusion, I will leave you with a few beautiful lines written by Alberto Villoldo PH.D, from his book “The Four Insights:”

“To be a sage means that when you look around you, you see only beauty. You will come to understand how everything you experience is a projection of your inner landscape or dream. This means that nothing ever happens to you, since you’re the creator of each event and incident in your life. So you never need to fix anything in the outer world – if you want to transform some circumstance that appears to be outside of yourself, you just need to own it and change it within!”

Look after yourself my boet. Till next time – totsiens!

Stay close to the centre of the cyclone. It’s always calm in there.

With Love

Mark

Some more real good news about SA!

 

Howzit

 

Wow! I am absolutely astounded by the sheer volume of responses to my “gatvol” email two weeks ago. Now I know what they mean when they say “word gets around” I’m blown away boet! Gobsmacked, to say the least!

 

A big thanks to all of you who took the time to reply. You can view your replies at the end of this article.

 

Ironically, just after my letter, we are klapped with Xenophobia. Things now appear to be moving from bad to wors. (Personally, I smaak my wors medium rare – how about you?) Anyway back to the punt. One in five citizens now plans to quit SA, according to the Cape Times front page on Thurs 22 May. This is not surprising, considering that the Cape Times front page of 19 May displayed a shockingly disgusting and disturbing full colour picture of a burning man set alight by insane thugs. In my last letter I wrote: “I accept that bad news sells, but soon there will be nobody left here to buy it!” Wake up Mr. Cape Times Editor – I tjooned you my bru!

 

So what to do? Stay or waai? Eish, this is an agonising question my boet. Are things really better in other “first world” countries? I suppose it depends upon what you mean by better. If you talk safety, security, infrastructure, law, order and good governance, probably. If you talk lifestyle, climate, sense of humour, natural beauty, cultural diversity, depth of character, creativity, zest for life, biltong, braaivleis and boerewors, maybe not?

 

It would also appear that Xenophobia is on the rise in many other countries around the world. To quote Justine Gerardy, in the Weekend Argus of May 24.  “Xenophobic attacks and immigration challenges are not new. They are not even particularly South African. For example in Russia, since the beginning of 2008, there have been 211 reported victims of hate crimes – with 53 murders. In Italy, just last week, police arrested hundreds of people in a (Xenophobia) crackdown. And even Britain, an island nation with no porous land borders or neighbouring dictatorships, is facing a historical immigration high.”    

 

Even in the good old USA boet, this stuff is happening: I read the following report online at huffingtonpost: “At a fundraiser in Florida last Thursday night, (American Presidential Hopeful) Barack Obama accused anti-immigrant crusaders Lou Dobbs and Rush Limbaugh of “ginning things up” to such an extent that there was a rise in hate crimes against Hispanics last year. Obama said. “A certain segment has basically been feeding a kind of xenophobia. There’s a reason why hate crimes against Hispanic people doubled last year”

 

So that still leaves us with good old Australia, who themselves have some baggage regarding their Maori population. Aussie does seem like a safe bet though, which is interesting considering that as a country it started off as a sort of floating prison. I was amused by the following anecdote from a South African who moved to Australia, could not adjust and came back home. He said: “Emigrating to Australiais like being invited to the biggest jol of the year, and then spending the whole night dancing with your mother!”

 

No offence to the Aussies mind you. I am not an Aussie basher. I really think they are an awesome nation with many great qualities and much to be proud of. (Rugby not being one of them!) Good on ya mates!

 

But getting back to our situation, those of us who do choose to stay here in ZAR have to keep asking ourselves “What can I DO to make things better?” Cause if we are not going to be part of the solution we will remain part of the problem. And please, if any of you feel that some of the ideas I am suggesting below will not work, don’t bother writing to me unless you have another suggestion that will. I’m really tired of people telling me that this and that won’t work and yet are unable to offer any alternative suggestions of their own. Its defeatist thinking and it achieves nothing! Verstaan jy? Kwaai my bru.

 

 So here are some more suggestions to consider:

 

Join the million man march against crime  (in JHB) on 10 June 2008. It should be a huge event.

 

Read the book “A Country at war with itself” by Antony Altbeker. It really puts our crime wave into perspective and, most importantly, suggests practical steps which can be taken to significantly reduce the crime wave. Three of the many interesting and well researched statistics from the book are:

“Since its peak in the mid 1990’s, the number of murders recorded in SA every year has fallen by 30% from nearly 27 000 to 19 000.”

“Only a small proportion of murders in SA are committed in the course of a robbery. Most are the result of what analysts have taken to calling “interpersonal violence,” a category of crime that covers everything from domestic violence to road rage, from a barroom brawl to a violent dispute between an employee and his boss.”

And finally: “…the number of cash-in-transit robberies recorded by the SA police in 2006/7, at fewer than 500, is actually quite small…In the United Kingdom, over 700 of raids of this sort are recorded each year. This is in embarrassing contrast with Germany, which had fewer than 20 incidents. In that country though, the largest security company in the field collapsed when its managers were tried for skimming cash off their payloads” Read a book review for this excellent book.

 

You could take some kind of action to help the victims of Xenophobia. For a list of suggestions on how you could help, visit SARocks.

 

Write letters to the editors of your local newspapers, whenever you feel that they are over sensationalizing crime and violence or perpetuating negativity. Get your friends to do the same. And don’t hold back – they certainly don’t!

 

Start a campaign to ban negative newspaper headlines from being displayed on lamp posts. (Thanks for this idea Kareen) We don’t need their version of life shoved down our throats every day.

 

Visit the blog SARocks and post your comments. Or send your own article to the editor of SARocks, Nic Haramboulis at the following email: editor@sarocks.co.za 

 

Lobby your local MP’s to speak out against crime. This is one of our biggest frustrations in this whole situation. If our president, cabinet ministers and others in positions of power would just take a firm stand, speak up and declare a serious intention to fight crime, violence and lawlessness, things should improve significantly. (That is, if they follow up their words with sustained action) 

 

Also if you have any more practical, positive ideas on what you believe we can do to make things better, please send me your suggestions. I deeply appreciate them.

 

And don’t forget to keep smiling and of course styling, wherever possible.  

 

Until next time, I remain your passionately pissed off brother from another mother.

 

Cheers

 

Mark Berger

email: mark@markberger.co.za

web: www.markberger.co.za

 

Your replies to my “gatvol” letter

Hi Mark

My mum in SA forwarded me something you had written recently. The essence was – sod all the crap news I read, I’m going to create my own happiness! I felt compelled to write and say thank you. Thank you so much for writing that. I’m living in the UK, where the impetus from the press is much the same and I’ve been feeling exactly the same way of late. It’s now time that we all say – get lost Mr. Negative. Bring me smiles, happiness and laughter. 

Thanks again. 

Hilary

 

Hi Mark

This piece you wrote was forwarded to me.

Let me just say it is fantastic – FINALLY somebody agrees with me!

This world is a truly awe-inspiring place – if only more people could see it like that! – You are frank, honest and refreshing!

I believe that the more people that share a belief (petrol price hikes, interest rate, Eskom – blah, blah, blah) – the greater the feeling becomes that contributes to that belief. Be it a good or bad belief.

We cannot blame external factors for a “rough patch” in our lives simply because it’s easy. In almost all instances in our lives, work etc, ‘you are the problem, and therefore you are the solution.’

I practice an attitude of gratitude daily! It’s the best way to live man!

Inspired thought, inspired action a general shift in mindset, into a new positive attitude is the only way we will see a genuine change in the world

Anyway – Just a thought.

Thanks for brightening my day!

Have a fantastic week.

Monique

 

Hi there Mark

I am of the same opinion.

I am reading A Short History of the World and Nearly Everything at the moment.

I do not buy newspapers or watch on TV news negativity – I refuse.

I focus on the positive and enjoy my life.

I was at the Apartheid museum and saw footage that showed me how much of a worse situation we have been in during our history and how much better off we are now.

So thank you for the reminder and a morning ritual I started today was press-ups and weights, I am going to add a short run too.

 A Blessing:

May your winter be warm,

May your family be loving

May you appreciate every moment in your life

Please realize that our lives are a miracle and we are lucky to exist

We are the same as everyone and everything at an atomic level

So let us be damn grateful and go out with the intention of adding value

May you be able to look back and say heck I did my best for SA and the world.

And I damn well enjoyed my life!

Regards

Mark

 

Dear Mark

I read your email about SA which a friend sent me – what a brilliant article, Thank You!  I thought that you might be interested in the following very positive action that my sister-in-law is taking at her school. We would like to start a positivity promise throughout the whole of South Africa, and let it start with you and your children.

 

Children are amazing – they can lift your spirits when you are feeling down; they can fill a room with sunshine just from their laughter. It’s time for us as South Africans, to channel this beautiful positive energy from our children, and use it to create a new feeling of positivity for our country, and our future.

So, let’s turn parent modeling on its head just for a moment – let’s let the children start teaching us to be positive again. It would be the MOST unbelievable wonderful gift to South Africa, to get a POSITIVITY PROMISE going in all of our schools. All it will take is a few minutes a day from each teacher and his / her class in each and every school in the country. It will start in the classroom, but it needs to be carried over into the home. This is what I have been doing – I hope it will inspire as many caregivers and teachers as possible

The Positivity Promise, which is a promise to yourself to be positive, involves 3 easy steps

 Step 1) We start off the day by saying the following mantra; our oath of allegiance – One sentence – that’s all. 3X every morning :

“I am a child of South Africa, and I can make a difference in my country today”.

 Step 2) Cultivate “an attitude of gratitude” – A phrase coined by Dr John Demartini.  Start a positivity journal. The children write 1 sentence about something they are grateful for each day.

eg. I am grateful that I have a warm bed to sleep in at night.

 Step 3)   How can I make a difference today?

Promise to do something nice (or positive) for someone each day, or say something positive to someone each day. Write this down in the Positivity journal, too. eg. Today, I am going to make a difference by including Johnny in our game at break

 And do it!

 This would start in the home, filter through to the school, and then on to the wider community (senior school and high school). If we can all just perform 1 new positive deed for someone each day, or say 1 positive phrase to someone each day, we can start making a positive difference in our homes, in our schools and in the wider community. It is a well-known fact that “positive attracts positive” – this is what goes out into the Universe. So lets start with our Youth in our schools; each child performs one positive deed and then instead of paying that person back, he / she PAYS IT FORWARD to the next person. Lets start a movement in our schools where one positive deed begets another one.

 Imagine the ripple effect this could have if each one of our children in South Africa started making a difference. We CAN make South Africa into the greatest country – we have the potential! Please help us by making a positivity promise TODAY.

 Thank you for making a difference in South Africa today.

Karen

 

Hi Mark

I read your e-mail about being gatvol with all the bad news in South Africa. I can really identify with your sentiments expressed in this e-mail. I do the following every day, and have never been happier in my whole life:

1. I do not watch the news on TV anymore

2. I do not listen to the news on the radio anymore

3. I read the newspapers with circumspection and filter out all the bad news articles and absorb all the good news articles

4. I read the financial press with greater interest and also only absorb the good news articles

5. I have 2 sons aged 15 and 9, when I wake them up in the morning for school, I sing them a song and make it funny with their names in the song

6. I always make sure that I am enjoying whatever I am doing, even if it is brushing my teeth in the morning and at night – I also tell my family to do the same

7. If something does not work during the day, I leave it for later on or the next day and it normally works better the second time around

8. I joke with people and tease them incessantly, both at work and at home, we all laugh and I feel better

9. We have 2 dogs and 1 cat at home, I always play with them and pat and stroke them at least once a day

10. I always laugh at the politicians and their shenanigans

11. I always say that everything in life is negotiable except death

12. I always do unto others as I would like them to do unto me

 We have no intentions of leaving South Africa in spite of experiencing an armed robbery at our previous home. We were attacked in broad day light, at 06:45 approximately, by 4 armed robbers. They beat myself and my wife up badly, nearly raped my wife and generally terrorised us all, including our sons. This was all done for a wallet, purse and 2 cell phones.

 I reckon that at least 90% of all South Africans want the same things ie:

 a. A decent home and transport

b. A job or business of their own

c. Good schooling for their children

d. Good health care

e. To worship freely in their own House of G-d.

 Please feel free to e-mail me if you wish

Regards

Stan

 

Dear Mark

Received an email in the “mail” – a funny down to earth honest and true email. Loved it and passing on. Thank you for taking the bull by the horns and sharing it with us.

 Love & Light and all the other good things thrown in.

Robyn

 

Hi Mark

I am just as GATVOL as you are. People complain almost every where you turn. I want to ask if any of them are doing anything to change what is going on. I know most are going to say, “well, what can I  do, why aren’t the cops doing it or the government…..why must I do anything, I pay tax, I deserve …….and so on and so on”

Well there are many things we can all do.

Every year more then 20 000 people are killed on our roads. At robots, freeways, intersections, by reckless inconsiderate drivers, drunk drivers or unlicensed drivers.

Obeying simple laws such as the traffic laws is a start. Don’t be the person who races to get through the orange that is red, actually stop at a stop street…..don’t drink and drive no matter what. You not only put your life at risk, you risk that of countless people, young children, bread winners.

So don’t let anyone complain about crime if they cant obey the rules of the road.

 Instead of sitting back and saying I cant, call the number of the truck company, or transport company to complain about the driver, demand action. You have the right to open a reckless and negligent driving case…as the witness to the incident.

Don’t just ignore something that is tearing the fabric of our society.

 “Be the change you want to see in the world, don’t demand it”

 As for the press, I don’t bother anymore, the newspaper, tv, radio….its all the same. I don’t think I could in any way add to what you have said… but you are dead on the money.

 We are all aware of the problems, and that is what we as a nation are good at, identifying problems, but we are KAK at finding solutions. It is the responsibility of every South African to stand up and do something for his country, be it a act of kindness, charity or helping someone in need. Community service takes many forms. But we think cos we pay tax we are owed. Well we ARE OWED NOTHING BY NO ONE. If we want change we need to be part of the solution. Leaving to another country does not change anything, they are only going to other sets of problems. There are many examples, France- student riots, Australia- Race riots, South America – poverty and kidnappings. Iraq- war and so the list goes on.

 We need to find solutions, put people in power who will make the difference.

I don’t have all the answers but together we can make change happen.

Leigh

 

Well said Mark!!

You’ve got guts!! I love it

Happy day

Careema

 

Dear Mark

Loved it and well done. Helped me a lot as I often do get this heavy ball of anxious dread KAK feeling, when more bad news comes my way

Anne-Lise

 

Thanx Mark – that was awesome !!!
I hope you don’t mind, but I forwarded this to a few people, including John Maytham on Cape Talk
PS:Thanx to you – I am sitting naked in my front garden, drinking herbal tea and listing to Radio Lotus

Dion

 

Well done Mark – pleased you got that off your chest,  and not via your poephol either!

Kind Regards

John

 

Hey Mark

Sounds like you are doing fine by getting that off your chest bru, but every word is true my bru!!! You have made my Monday already……and I haven’t even got around to the tea and joint bit yet!

 Go well.

Regards,

Michael

 

 Good Morning Mark,

Reading your letter is like having you on the phone, or chatting with you… I could even hear the tone of your voice as I read it!

As always, you bring positive energy and rays of hope.

I have been often chastised by some of our common friends for not reading the daily newspapers, but like you, over the last few years I felt that they only dragged me down.

Watching international news on TV while I do my morning gym, and listening to talk shows on SAFM while driving to work, keep me generally informed, but they are already pushing the limits of what I want to know… as you wrote, the more you hear and see, the more depressed you get!!!

However, to be fair to our reporters, without them bringing to the fore issues of abuse, misconduct, genocide, rigged elections, oil wars, corruption, global warming, etc… it would be difficult for ordinary people to take a stance and try and redress the wrongs committed daily, worldwide.

I agree that a news paper, or news bulletin, should try and even out the negative news with positive ones, and encourage people to look for beauty, joy and reason as much as making us aware of all our problems.

 

Maybe you should start a “positive news radio and publications”? I cannot think of a better person to do so…

Filon

 

Hi Mark

Great to hear from you and “good on you”…..

We have so much to be grateful for….maybe a “holiday” in Serbia, Iraq or Zimbabwe will put things in perspective !!

 Regards

Conway

 

Thanks Mark.

Jislaaik bru….. but your words are somma powerful!! On a serious note, I could not agree more with your sentiments. I am also gatvol of reading and hearing about all the kak innie land. Enough! It is all about behavioural change. And we have the power to change the awesome future we are on the brink of……

 Best Regards

Justin

 

 

 

 

Finally – Some real good news about SA!

Howzit

 

I don’t know about you but jislaaik I’m now getting really gatvol of all the bad news. South Africa once again seems to be falling through its own poephol. I think I’m going to puke if I hear any more s#*t about Jacob Zuma, Zimbabwe, Crime, Eskom, the Oil Price, Inflation, Soaring Food Costs, Bafana Bafana or even friggin Paris Hilton. I’ve absolutely had it with all this negativity, doom and gloom! I’m really SAT of it ALL ek se!!! How about you?

 

I mean it’s not like I want to gooi the ostrich vibe and bury my head in the sand. This shit is real and it’s serious and it’s happening all over…but not to me….YET!!! Nevertheless I can’t help but read it, hear about it it, see the headlines, hear the rumours…EVERYWHERE. It’s like they are brainwashing me boet. And the worst part of it is that I feel totally and completely HELPLESS. Useless. Disempowered. Castrated (almost.) Frustrated (completely.) I keep getting this heavy ball of anxious dread filling my guts and it feels really KAK! And the worst part of it all is that I am a motivational speaker who needs to stay positive and optimistic.

 

To top it all off, winter is coming so I can’t even feel good about the lekker weather any more!

 

Peter de Villiers, our new Springbok Rugby Coach, was quoted in a Sunday Times interview published on 4^th May as saying: “The local media thrive on negativity. They have nothing good to say about their country. If there is something bad about this country the local media will break a leg to be the first to write about it. They’re a bunch of negative people who live in a world of their own, and are merely there to earn a living and not make SA a better place.”

 

I agree completely with the ou. I’m think that most of our journalists, reporters and editors are uninspired, negative, disaster focused, sensation seeking, sad sorry scumbags. They find fault in everything and never propose any workable solutions. Many of the ordinary people of South Africa are busy doing wonderful little things every day, but none of it is newsworthy. Here’s the truth: There are roughly 6.6 billion people on planet earth. And according to the World Health Organization, some 56 million deaths occur per year, at the current global average. That works out to about 153 400 per day. That’s right – 153 400 deaths every 24 hours! So it’s not really hard work to find disasters, accidents, catastrophes, murders, muggings and general mayhem to fill the headlines. It’s actually pretty easy.

 

But during that same 24 hours, about 350 000 babies are born. That’s right, every 24 hours, around 350 000 beautiful, miraculous, perfect, pure, happy, untainted, precious little beings begin their journey on this planet. And what do journalists write about this? F%*k all that’s what! Unless of course a six month old baby is stabbed to death – then we never stop hearing about it!

 

Every day about 48 million of us get up, take a s*#t, clean our teeth (hopefully) and get on with our life. And many of us perform little acts of respect, compassion, kindness, service, giving, helping and creating. As Cath Jenkin wrote recently in her blog: “There is noise and joy and emotional honesty in the way we live. When we as a nation are happy, we celebrate. When we are sad, we are sad together. Does anything else really matter? At least we are together in the queue for petrol and/or torches.”

 

But for our media this is not newsworthy. It’s just life.

 

So I gave it all a lot of thought. Then I did some more real deep thinking. And guess what – buggerall happened! So I stopped thinking for a while, by learning to meditate. Then I stopped reading most of the newspapers. Then I stopped watching the news on TV and listening to the news in my car. And I stopped listening to people with negative chirps and bad energy. And I stopped focusing on what was going wrong in my life. 

 

Then I started to meditate every morning, after doing some simple yoga stretches and synchronized breathing exercises. And I replaced my morning cup of coffee and cigarette with some herbal tea and a dagga joint. (OK – joking about the joint!) And I re- read the Power of Now and Conversations with God and a Short History of Nearly Everything. And I began to visit an awesome positive website called sagoodnews.co.za.  And MAN did I start to feel better. MUCH BETTER. Then I started to watch every sunset possible, ride my bicycle, watch funny video’s on Youtube, work in my garden, walk on the beach – I fu&%#ng started living again BRU! From the inside out! And it finally hit me between the eyes, an epiphany:

 

You can’t change your thinking in order to improve your behaviour. You need to change your behaviour in order to improve your thinking. It’s taken me many years of searching and many many books, self development courses and personal growth experiences to come to this simple truth.

 

So if you, like me, are feeling anxious, concerned, depressed or gatvol, why not try changing your behaviour and DOING something differently, from today.

 

For example:

 

Greet every SAP policeman you meet with a friendly smile or handshake and thank them for protecting you and your loved ones. Boy do they need some motivation!

Visit www.sagoodnews.co.za. Often.

Read an inspiring book.

Write a poem.

Get into nature (or walk barefoot on your lawn!)

Write down everything you have to be grateful for. Every morning.

Play inspirational music, especially when the news comes on your radio.

Find some way to exercise your body a little more. (Endorphins are lekker!)

Try out one of the 100 available techniques of mediation or relaxation.

Watch the sunrise and/or sunset.

Create a morning ritual to make your day beautiful.

Find out and speak about the good news.

Choose to be happy.

 

And don’t allow the media to f%&k with your mind.

 

Most importantly, seek out and speak your own truth and live a whole life.

 

You deserve it.

 

And in doing so, you will change your life and make a massive difference to this special place we call home.

 

PS: To all the media people out there – I’m all for a free press. Really. I’m just sick and tired of your continued obsessive focus with everything negative. When are you going to realize that you are not merely reporting on what is happening – you are CAUSING some of it by your actions. Yes – YOU! You are helping to perpetuate a dangerous cycle of violence and destruction. I accept that bad news sells, but soon there will be nobody left here to buy it! Please cheer up and get a life or piss off and go find another job. Serious. I’ve had it with your sensationalism and scandal. Enough already. Start doing your job and working a little bit harder to creatively seek out and give some headline space to the good stuff going down in SA. Trust me, it’s there!

 

(Pheeew it feels good to have got that off my chest!!!)

 

I wish you an awesome day. Choose to make it that way!

 

Mark Berger.